I’ve watched couple after couple get caught up in the excitement of the wedding day. What will the dresses look like, what flowers are you having, are you going on a honeymoon? I myself got wrapped up in that one day, “the best day of your life”.
Yes, the wedding day is important and special and you want it to have a little bit of magic. The problem that I see is that more attention is given to the wedding, than to what the wedding is symbolizing. This special day is joining two people, two hearts, two lives. There are certain things that I wish couples would understand.
- It’s not about the wedding day, it’s about every day after. You will have a lifetime of special days, and some not-so-special days too.
- Marriage takes work. Anyone that says marriage is easy is lying to your face. There are going to be disagreements and there may be times that someone sleeps on the couch. It is important to remember to get help before you let things build up and it is too late.
- Sex can get boring. You know each other so well, you know what she likes. To keep your love life sizzling and not fizzling, you need variety. Try new positions, share your fantasies, talk a little dirty.
- You actually have to live with this person. This means that your negotiating skills will get a lot of practice. You will need to work out things such as the toilet seat, squeezing the toothpaste from the top, and who does the household chores.
- This person has the power to hurt you. In a relationship, you open up your heart to another human being. Intimacy means that you show everything; the good, the bad, and the ugly. It means that you are vulnerable. This vulnerability can bring you hurt, but it can also bring you the most joy that you have ever experienced in your life.
All in all, I just want you to be prepared for what is to come. Marriage can be the most rewarding experience of your life.
More stuff on marriage please. I’m getting hitched in 11 months!
Anyway, I’m ready! 
“This person has the power to hurt you.”
It always amazes me when I counsel a couple and one (or both) spouse(s) are holding back trust out of fear of being hurt. It can go on for years.
No one can have a successful marriage without taking the risk of being hurt. There is no intimacy without the risk.
Great post as always Terri.
Marriage in itself is a risk. You do risk being hurt, but without taking that risk you are giving up the chance for happiness.
Ndmervin, I will continue to post articles on love, romance, and sexuality. Please read through the other articles on this blog. They are intended for all couples and will certainly apply to you.
Terri