Have you ever been in love with someone else’s lover? Have you tried to lure him/her away from their boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, or spouse? This is much more common than we all realize. The famous 80’s song by Rick Springfield “Jesse’s Girl”, tells the story well, longing for your friend’s girl, wondering what he has that you don’t.
The International Sexuality Description Project was conducted in 53 countries. The psychologists polled 16,000 individuals in an attempt to understand this behavior. Psychologists call this behavior “mate poaching” and it is common across all countries and cultures. In fact, 20% of all long-term relationships started out this way.
This isn’t just about a short-term fling. You can seriously fall in love with another man’s wife. What do you do if this is the case? Do you tell the woman or do you respect the bounds of matrimony?
I think that the respectful thing to do would be to wait. If she is unhappily married, she will leave him eventually. The thing is, 62% of men and 40% of women say that they have attempted to lure away someone else’s partner.
What is your opinion on this? Do you think that it is okay to “steal someones sweetheart“? Does the end justify the means? Let me know what you think.
Nope, I don’t think this is OK.
Blue Moon,
I’m just being the devil’s advocate here, but what if you knew that this person was meant to be with you? What if you believed they were your soulmate? Would you change your mind then?
Just food for thought.
Terri
Most of us practice situational ethics: we rationalize any behavior if we want to engage in that behavior badly enough. In general most would say they wouldn’t try to lure someone else’s spouse away. But an obviously large number will choose to do so when they have the desire.
My personal belief is we also have powerful internal cues and responses coming from our most ancient ancestors. It enabled them to thrive by choosing the most beneficial mates and having numerous, healthy offspring. I believe most of the time our perception of a “soul mate” is more based on those inbred drives.
It’s possible in some people–if not most–those inbred drives are difficult to control.
My two cents. Great post.